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bad movie reviews

this page is reserved for my reviews of bad movies, as in, not ‘so bad it’s good’, but just plain bad. i don’t recommend reading it but it’s here for the record

Vanguard (2020) - X tier

Another kinda terrible movie from the era past which it seems Jackie can’t really do much fighting or stunts anymore. That’d be fine if this movie had any of the charm of his old movies though.

This one is really average at everything and comes across as a generic low budget action shooter film with pointless cameos from Jackie Chan. We stayed with it through what we thought was the final scene of the movie, but then we realised there was still another hour left and finally gave up on it. Pointless movie with tons of bad gun play and corny, boring storytelling.

Bleeding Steel (2017) - X tier

Terrible, long, boring, and offensive in places. It’s a terrible movie that happens to have Jackie Chan in it. It starts off kind of cool with a visually interesting villain and a cool cyberpunk theme but the next 30 minutes of the film made me feel bad for kind of getting into it at the beginning.

It feels like a youtube movie, the cuts in action scenes make it hard to tell what’s going on, and the music is terrible and mixed far too loud. All this movie does is mix popular sci-fi elements with a bad family movie plot and it doesn’t even make sense. The cyberpunk elements are restricted purely to the related villain characters and the rest of the world is just completely normal and boring, and the movie presents overall like a coming of age love story.

Not even Jackie can make this movie watchable, and we didn’t even finish it.

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